Just to add my own 2¢
I personally have the issue that I often say things in way
that causes offence or directly or indirectly puts the other
person down. If I'm lucky you haven't seen examples on this
list but trust me I have this problem.
What I've noticed that helps me is (when I'm sane enough to
follow my own advice)
1) I don't reply immediately
2) If I do write a reply and manage to notice it's
confrontational I don't send it. Then re-write it tomorrow or
at least several hours later.
3) Ask questions instead of asserting my opinion
asserting: gl.texImage2D with an image will be
USELESS unless I can choose to load PNG files without the
browser applying color correction and pre-multiplying the
questioning: How would I load an normal map with
height in the alpha channel if there is no way to load a PNG
file without the browser applying color correction and
pre-multiplying the alpha?
I'm sure I still sometimes phrase the question
in an insulting way but hopefully the act of putting issues
into questions helps me catch myself. I've learned this
technique from fellow developers who review my code and
noticing my own reactions. When they assert that my code
sucks I get defensive. When they ask if I thought about an
issue I don't get defensive and instead get more thoughtful
and listen to what they are saying.